They Will Always Know -Trust Me....

My Daddy died on May 30, 2007. He was a most amazing man in oh-so-many ways, not the least of which was the interesting set of rules he instituted for us at our house. Now, I am one of four children, and technically, I am the middle child. My sister is two years and nine months older than I am, and my twin brothers are exactly two years and one week younger than I. So, that makes me the middle child of four children.... and we lived in the most interesting household. One that was fun, without a doubt ~ and secure, to be sure ~ and full of rules that sometimes were hard to swallow, but I liked the clothes I wore, the food I ate, the 1982 Ford Country Squire Station Wagon with faux wood paneling (that all four of us received upon our 16th birthdays, I might add), and all the other benefits that came with living with my parents. So the rules weren't all that bad... and now here are some stories to illustrate just how some of those rules played out for me. Enjoy! :)


My Daddy was not one to allow my sister or me to wear bikinis outside of our backyard for fear that someone might just think we were "loose" girls. (Only loose girls wore bikinis and pierced their ears in Tampa when he grew up.... sigh...). So, while we owned bikinis, we did not wear them out in public ~ at least when we thought Daddy might find out. That is until the early summer of 1987 ~ Becky was in college at UGA and I was 16 and about to be a high school senior. The River Walk had just been completed in Augusta and there was a HUGE beach blast held to celebrate the event on a Sunday afternoon. I had begged and begged to go, and because Becky was going along with a large group of all of our friends (boys and girls alike), I was granted permission to go. So, after church, I rushed to get dressed, putting on my favorite tankini (that would be a bikini that is attached on one side ~ and I must digress here and tell you that it was black with turquoise flowers and ruffles on the top and bottoms and was by Hawaiian Tropic ~ I LOVED that suit!) underneath my shorts and t-shirt. I got my bag ready and went into the living room to wait for our ride.


Daddy asked me what bathing suit I had on underneath the shirt and shorts.... BUSTED!!!! I couldn't do anything but show him, and he immediately "ix-nayed" the tankini. I was crushed, and went back to my room to don a one-piece, secretly stuffing the tankini down in the bottom of my bag (you can see where this is going, can't you?). I went back out, showing the conservative suit I now had on, and miraculously my friends arrived and I dashed out of the house. Of course, I changed into the tankini in the car and was ready to have a blast in Augusta.


And I must admit, the afternoon was too much fun. We danced and sang and danced and sang and danced some more. And, at one point, the photographer from the Augusta Chronicle came by our group as we took a break along the railroad tracks and asked if he could take our picture. "Sure!" I said, and smiled just a big as I possibly could ~ larger than life in my tankini. And I didn't give it another thought. When the concert was over, I changed back into my conservative suit, put my tankini in the bottom of my bag, went home, and figured all was fine as frog fur.


The following morning, I went into the kitchen for breakfast, passing my mother who was at the stove cooking (she cooked breakfast every weekday morning of my life growing up) and she didn't speak to me as I said, "Good morning." In fact, she only cut her eyes at me. As most of you probably are wont to do, I immediately began to go through my mind trying to think what in the world I could have gotten in trouble for, as there was no way they could have known about the tankini. Oh, but how wrong I was. For there, at my place at the table, was the front page of the Augusta Chronicle. And in full color, covering the top half of the paper, was a picture of me and my friends ~ yes, you guessed it, of me in my tankini. And the picture was circled in RED and there was a RED arrow pointing to ME. BUSTED!!!


My Daddy looked up from his breakfast and said one word to me... "Indefinitely." That meant (for those of you who need a translation) that I was grounded indefinitely. And I did not say a word. What defense was there? Sigh.... And to add insult to injury, my parents' friends who saw the picture in Augusta and Louisville and surrounding areas kept mailing copies of it to them, thinking we "just might like an extra copy of such a fun picture!" So my moment of shame just wouldn't die. Ah, the story of my life! :)


And this same thing played out for me over and over in my life (suffice it to say, I am a HORRIBLE liar and always get caught.... the running joke with my friends in high school was that if they were planning to do anything that was remotely ~ or extremely ~ questionable, I was not invited to participate because, if I went, we were sure to be caught. And I fully agreed and understood. So I just waited patiently for the next day when they would call me to discuss what had happened and I could pull that 30 foot phone cord from the kitchen into the dining room or pantry that had a door that closed to talk "in private." Don't get me started on not having a phone in my room.... hahahaha! Hell, we had rotary phones until the 1990s because "they still work..."). I will never forget the first - and last - time I left a party without permission after my mother dropped me off. She and her friends were known for taking turns "just showing up" to check on things at parties. Okay, so I finally decided I would throw caution to the wind and leave this party that was held at the Lions Club to ride through town for a while with my then boyfriend and a few other folks. I know, I know.... wooooo! But back then, what went on in the Hardee's parking lot and downtown Louisville just might change the world. If I only knew then what I know now... But, back to the story....

We left the party and went riding around, making certain to be back by 10:00, since my Mama was coming to pick me up at 11:00 and that would be plenty of time to not be rushed and be present if she happened to "check in." So I thought. And she did pick me up at 11:00. On the way home, she asked me how things were at the party, and if anything interesting had happened at all around 9:30 or so. I had scouts and lookouts planted, and no one had informed me of any interesting happenings, so I just told of certain boyfriend/girlfriend drama and so forth, but mentioned nothing else. "That's funny," my Mama said. "I was at the party from 9:15 until 9:45, and you were no where to be found!" BUSTED!!!! Sigh...


I can regale you with a few other stories along these lines, and may do just that in coming days... I am not certain why this one came to the forefront tonight, but I thought I would share it. Maybe this will be an indicator of how my life has always been full of humor and "you just won't believe" occurrences.

Until the Muse descends again....


B